Tyler Perry's Doing Life is a cheesy, romantic story about finding love in an unlikely place. But real life doesn't always come with a Netflix-worthy happy ending
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| Courtesy of Netflix / Tyler Perry Studios |
I watched Doing Life, the new Tyler Perry movie on Netflix, and while I did enjoy the cheesy romance and even got teary on a few parts… my statement still stands.
Too many women are comfortable leaving their children, especially their young daughters, with men they just met. And it needs to stop. Regardless of your situation, you should never be so trusting. Your children depend on YOU to keep them safe.
Doing Life on Netflix: Love Is One Thing, Trust Is Another
Black men have a bad rep already, so I'm not trying to add to the weight, but please remember that this is a movie and every man you meet in prison won't be like Carousel.
It might feel like it at first—he'll say all the right things to get your juices flowing and make you feel like you're the only girl in the world. But it won't be long before he asks you to put a few dollars on the phone or money on his books.
Shows like Love After Lockup can give you some insight into what happens after running off into the sunset with a guy you met on inmate.com.
Doing Life was cheesy and romantic, and it gives hope for love found in the darkest places. But it's also just a movie.
DO NOT TRY AT HOME. 0/10 DO NOT RECOMMEND.
Finding love in an inmate is possible, but it's not always logical. If you meet someone on the inside and want to have a relationship with them, that's your prerogative. But be careful, and leave the kids out of it. At least until you know for sure the person can be trusted.
Anika Deserved Her Happy Ending—and So Did Carousel
I was happy for Anika! After her baby daddy sold her a dream, she actually stood in the paint, took care of her daughter and her mother, and was rewarded with a good man.
A good BLACK MAN.
And I loved that Tyler Perry showed how hard Black men ride for Black women in the movie's opening scenes. My dawg said, "Yeah, let me remind ya'll how much we sacrifice for our Black Queens."
We have some animals, and we have some MEN. It's important for women to be able to spot the difference. Stop ignoring the red flags because of how attractive someone is or how good the sex is. Actually slow down and get real in matters of love.
Look. Pay attention. Ask questions. Don't go into a relationship with your head in the clouds and butterflies in your gut.
Mama Catchy was a lil' harsh and bitter with her warning, but she wasn't all the way wrong. Not while her granddaughter was in the picture.
I also enjoyed Carousel getting his happy ending. Buddy was a lil' awkward at first, but I had to remember his circumstances and how young he was when he got locked up… I want y'all to sit with that for a minute…
Doing Life Raises Questions About Race and the Justice System
I watched this movie with a white friend of mine, and she brought up something interesting after Carousel saved Anika's life. She said:
"Shouldn't he get out early for saving her life? On Fire Country, Bode got released early for being a hero."
It's no secret that the justice system has never treated Black people fairly, and it never will. And that's all I'll say about that and Fire Country for this entry.
Carousel had no idea how to do life. He was sentenced as a child, abused by the system, robbed, taunted by the guards who were supposed to be upstanding citizens aiding in the redemption of the inmates. Instead, these officers are the new-wave's version of health care workers—ain't shit.
During his bid, though, he actually made something of himself. He taught himself the law, he painted—and was damn good at it. He spent time maturing and getting his mind right so that when he came home he could return to society a valuable asset and not a repeat offender. I was proud of that.
His happy ending was his reward for doing the work, as my fave, Iyanla Vanzant, would say.
When Family Trauma Turns Into Bitterness
When it comes to Anika's family… LAWD HAMMERCY. Talk about bitter!
I mean three bitter melons whose only reason for being in the garden is to contaminate all the fruit.
And I get it. After multiple failed relationships with men who left them with broken hearts and kids, they refused to believe a man like Carousel could be a good man. Women holding onto hurt from their own trauma always think men are out to get something from them or he's got a slew of side chicks waiting to take her place.
Carousel was cool. He even helped take care of Mama Catchy while she degraded the shit out of him and couldn't even take herself to the bathroom.
Any other inmate might've been back on a bus ride to the state pen.
Dating Inmates? Protect Your Children and Watch the Red Flags
Ladies, please be cautious about meeting attractive men who are currently serving time. It's already slim pickings out here, so be careful. I know we like to believe that everyone deserves a second chance, but sometimes that's just not true. Some people don't even deserve a first.
Even Lucifer was considered a beautiful angel.
It's easy to get caught up in your feelings and fall into those sweet little nothings. Especially after falling for so many lies. You finally find a man who knows the right things to say and backs it up with action, so you think he's the sign from God.
And he might be. But more often than not… HE AIN'T.
So don't gamble. Not with your child's life. If you want to test the waters with your own safety, you're a grown woman who can do exactly that. But take precautions for your children. They're also yours, and you can do what you want with them too. But come on.
Don't look at this movie and start feeling like the man you've been chatting it up with from the inmate website will get out and be your Prince Charming.
Might fuck around and find out you're dealing with a serial killer.
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